Quotes 2019
This whole wiki situation is a bit of a mess, but people only go to it for the quotes page anyway, so here's the new one! Remember, please use the format "Quote" - Person and put the quote under the correct subheading to make it easier and more consistent to read. For each individual course, please use Sub-heading 2 (CTRL+4). If you put obscure quotes into General then they will just be moved into In-Jokes. You can toggle italics on and off using CTRL+I (or CMD+I on Mac). (RIP QUOTES PAGE 2018 (2018-2019)) Session 1 General Interest * "Will you sign my petition to delete Fortnite?" - Rhys to literally everyone * "What do we want?" "Jack" "When do we want it?" "Jack" - Jack's RA group and also everybody else Students * "It's not blackmail if it's facts" - Rhys * "I have a list of racial slurs for D&D" - Fionn * "I will put all of you to sleep and I will castrate Emmet" - Rhys * "I will avenge Emmet's testicles" - Patrick * "Your pen is anorexic" - Niall * "It's bread, get over yourself" - Josh * "Let me use my bits!" - Catherine * "I wanna be the prostitute" - Almarose * "Stop fingering my snapple bottle" - Darragh * "Then I jumped up a yelled 'spank my ass and call me Sally'" - Darragh * "My grandad's called Margaret" - Eibhlin * "Hypocrisy is the most important thing in life" - Oscar * "He's the sexiest plant alive" - Mathew * "Michael looks like a stripper" - Muhammad * "What's wrong with homosexual gremlins?" - Mathew * "I hate white things" - Alex 2: Electric Boogaloo * "That's how you know it's fresh from the Chinese Workshop" - Naoise * "I wanted to be nice so I gave him a gun" - Oscar * "He wants it harder" - Almarose * "We had a group Smash in Public" - Rhys * "Peer pressure is sometimes good" - Callum * "That has the same bouncing consistency as a small child" - Cormac * "Imagine you're bouncing on a small child" - Cormac * "I never have any quotes" - Fionn * "I like chewy coffee" - Reuben * "Smash attacks are more effective on children" - Patrick * "It's annoying when you digest your own head. It really messes up your hair" - Darragh * "Everyone can we get your attention please" - RAs "No" - Michael * "Remember kids, consent is not the absence of a no, it's the absence of consciousness" - Rhys * "He'll be expecting us to kill him while he's sleeping, but he'll never be expecting us to kill him while he's dead. I mean, he's dead, so why would we kill him? So the plan is to kill him first, and THEN ''we kill him" - Rhys * "Some people are afraid of being watched by stalkerish ducks" - Kian * "Gandhi and the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse" - Pádraig * "Cock and Ball Torture" - Sean's RA group * "Let's all just fist each other, let's just pound it out" - Rhys * "Don't lose Zero Nil" - Rhys * "How does one do a 'Sports'?" Rhys * "The amount of sugar and caffeine is directly proportional to skill" - Rory * "Ahh, I can't use my left hand" - Fionn * "To be fair, we're segregating them by RA group, not by sex" - Rhys * (Talking to the legendary RA Greg)”It’s not weird if your eyes are closed“ - Fionn * "Has anyone got any tissue, I need to make tits" - Jack * (About the fish from shark tale) "Mm I would" -Ronan * "Are the IRA like, banned or something?" - Anu * "If you have a LONG, STRONG thumbnail" - Eva * "You wanna be purple? Cause I'll purple your... penis" - Anu * "I wanna be cooked, I wanna be made into a meal!" - Emma, describing her own wake * "Please sir, spare craic?" - Maya * "This is me when do handjob" - Anu, stroking Emma's shoulder * "You can't just do things like this and expect it to be okay" - Emma, in reference to Anu's awful syntax * "It makes the bitches go undone al the time" - Emma * "Give me your finest pleasure, and make it snappy" - Emma, in a strong Victorian accent * "I just want some Dunne's mascarpone sauce" - Bubbles, tearing up * "Waloweegee" - Anu, trying to spell Waluigi * "I think it's telling of how much CTYI feed you that I didn't need a belt for these trousers 3 weeks ago" - Páidí * "I wish I had a menstrual cup so I could... sip sip" - Maya * “Everybody knows you can only pick bananas in the morning, from approximately nine to five“ -Ana * “Tinkie-Winkie is a member of ISIS. I don’t make up the rules sorry“ -Aidan * “NO NO! It’s a BURD!“ -Elisa * “You don’t get to go to bed. WE OWN THIS MAN NOW“ -Ben * “Ana’s getting turned on by the Dunce Caps“ -Elisa * "I have a business proposition" - Rhys to Colm O'Reily (director of CTYI) while wearing aviators upside down just before asking him to sign the petition to delete fortnite (he said yes) Courses CTYI Celtic Studies * “Japan is Asia’s Germany in more ways than one“ -Patrick * “Batman with prep time would beat Cu Chulainn in a fight, don’t @ me“ -Aidan * “But like... if you wear a Dunce Cap with pride that’s like... kinda hot“ -Ana * reference to Kian milking himself “No! Kian stop!” -Roisin * “The consistency of honey, and the flavour of... Gluten?“ -Ben & Ana in unison * ”Hey it’s me, Furry Cathal™️, I’m here to solve your mental problems!” -Smathal CTYI Computer Science *Nothing of note - Everyone CTYI Game Theory * "But hey, that's just a theory! A GAME Theory! Thanks for Watching." - The Whole Class * "Animals (Kids)" - Fionn * "Some say fire hazard, I say fire opportunity" - Alex the 3rd * "We should change the Irish national anthem to Megalovania" - Matthew * "It sounds like a biblical version of Klingon (said about Hebrew)" - Matthew * "When is it bad to be early? Oh wait, sex, yeah I walked into that one" - Rhys * "That's too many fingers" - Emmet * "Muhammad Bin Laden" - Emmet, who didn't know who Muhammid Ali was * "Who's going to be able to suck for that long?' - Kian * "Do you think Pádraig Mac Piarais knew what a Kazoo was?" - Rhys * "Keanu, who would you like to give Happiness and Pleasure?" - Pádraig * "They should choke each other out with their Lanyards" - Rhys, discussing an RA Battle Royale * "I'm too lazy to have OCD" - Páidí * "A pop vinyl Thanos snapped away half the toys in Toy Story 4" - Emmet * "It's like a water sandwich" - Fionn * "Ninja is like Irish Mammy Simulator; you give everyone a good slap on the wrist" - Rhys * "Has anyone got a spare fly?" - Kian * "I'm surprised I don't have any quotes" - Michael * "I love a good ol' four way sometimes" - Fionn * "Normally I wouldn't do a fourway but today I'll make an exception" - Fionn * "40 is infinity" - Rhys * "Does this count as a Chess Battle Royale?" - Pádraig * "Always remember to wear protection when playing Chess" - Rhys * "Pirate Business-Casual" - Michael * "How is signing my delete fortnite petition too political for you but killing me over money isn't?" - Rhys * "I could snort that cookie"- Michael * "Snorting cookies gives you superpowers, do it" - Elisa * "Everyone touch it with your finger...don't repeat that" - Michael * "Any play thing in Toy Story is alive, so are Dildos alive?" - Rhys * "All I wanted to do was watch 'The Big Bang Theory'" - Alex 2: Electric Boogaloo * "How hard is it to fill a hole?" - Rhys * "'Asexual reproduction' ah yes, my area of expertise" -Michael * "I have arms, don't listen to me" - Michael * "Make Robots, not children" - Páidí * ”Why not put it in the toaster” - Finn CTYI Novel Writing * CTYI Pharmacology * “You look like someone who’s escaped the CRC” - Naoise * “I may not be be best option but i’m not Jack” - Naoise * “This is a bad idea they shouldn’t have given retards beads” - Jack * “They have such an attractive straight edge” - Jack * “You look at them and think they’re fucking themselves up, they are fucking cool” - Finn * “Vaping is too nice to be cool” - Finn * “Can I just blend him up and make him into ice cubes?” - Michaela * “The erected crane looks like it’s made out of wood” - Finn * “Imagine seeing that on someone’s toe and still thinking, I’m gna suck that” - Jack * “It looks like there’s a toe going into another toe like foot sex” - Jack * “Who’s the best person in the hospital? the ultrasound guy” - Finn * “We need a clean place to birth the child” - Michaela *violently squeezing pigs* “I’m his mother I can do what I want with him”- Jordan, “No that was banned a long time ago” - Naoise * “Tender and juicy the way i like my steak and my men” - Finn * “How do you get constipation and diarrhea at the same time?” - Paul * “Fuck it let them dna test me” - Michaela * “You know what they say: if you have a cock then you rock” - Jack * “If you can be my distributor I’ll be your maker” - Karen (TI) * “I’m Mexican I have connections” - Karen (TI) * “Smack, horse, mud, brown sugar, that’s totally common in Mexico” - Karen (TI) * “So could you make like drugs?” - Sam to Karen * “We don’t produce cocaine we’re just in the way, but we do produce marijuana” - Karen (TI) * “What’s the name of that thing you know when there’s a fire and you ejaculate to put it out” - Finn CTYI Philosophy * "One True Cow" - everyone * "In a cold, feelingless, meaningless universe we must construct stories to convince ourselves out lives have meaning" - Patrick * "What's the texture of your being?" - James * "I think amputees are less of a self" - Max * "I respectfully disagree" - Ronan, to everybody. * "What if the monarch went through an emo phase?" - Zac * "If you step into a river & keep running really fast, both you & the river stay the same" - Max * "Do we be?" - everyone * "O.O.O." - James * "Spanish is wrong" - Cormac * "Psychology is a fake science" - James * "We're a fake science anyway, so I don't care" - also James * "Platonic friendships are gay" - Zac * "Oh shit, I have limbs" - Chloe * "Chairs are just a series of legs" - Cormac * "I feel like humans should evolve ourselves to be more like platypi" - Cormac * "Class trip to Iraq?" - Zac * "Class trip to Ikea?" - rest of the class * "The only thing that annoys me more than leaf blowers in a gardening sense is topiary" - James * "I hate gnomes!" - James * "I have a friend.. I swear" - Chloe * "Waterford is a city" - Aoife W * "I'm going to fuck the Queen" - Liadain * "The only form of ethical consumption under capitalism is vore" - Andrew * "First they came for the Furries & I said nothing, because I was not a furry Next they came for the Weebs & I said nothing, because I was not a weeb Then they came for the Gamers & there was no one left to rise up for me" - Andrew * "A four foot dick, a foot for every year" - Zac * "Tits out, Brits out" - Liadain * "Squonk" - Percy * "I'm not a vegan I'm just gay" - Alana * "You know what that is? Propaganda" - Niall * "But what about your religion?" - Niall * "Hypothetically speaking, I am oil" - Anu * "It's kinda like an uno reverse card" - Samuel, in reference to WWIII * "Eva's a furry" - everyone * "I'm not a furry" - Eva * "Hypothetically, say you met a gorilla that ''could give consent..." - Aidan * "Can bestiality be veganly justified?" - Emma * "I wanna be punished" - Anu * "Sociocrats" - Niall, trying to pronounce Socrates * "Which one of you little SHITS is implementing COLOURED BORDERS around the text? Because it WASN'T me and it WON'T GO AWAY" - Eva * "Whole lotta woman" - Rossi * "What should the punishment be?" "REMOVE THEIR TOES" - Fiachra * "They're all in the holospital" - Anu * "So you're two fifths of a lesbian?" - Fiachra * "I'm homeless, unemployed, single and I've got no kids, but hey -- the way I see it is: Opportunity. Opportunity. Opportunity" ''- Aidan * "It's not genocide it's just mass non-consensual euthanasia" - Fiachra * "I will vore animal feet" - Fiachra * "Milk, the famous civil rights leader" - Aidan * "Aristotle cut his own dick off because it wasn't virtuous enough" - Avril * "So about the hair and dirt thing..." - everyone * "Yeah yeah yeah! Like a single molecule of water in a cup in a desert" - Niall, frantically trying to make an analogy for war * "I don't fear death" - Eoghan CTYI Robotics └∵┌└[ ∵ ]┘┐∵┘ * "These quotes are terrible" - Niall * "This kid looks like a school shooter" - Niall *https://drive.google.com/open?id=1c1UwlJ5c5PZCCj5Ka_YvN3XdQrXdjaLF -Reuben *”Nadia.Exe has failed to open.” - Nadia *“Gamers, rise up!” - Niall CTYI Child Psych A * "GDPR stands for uhh.. Good Dog (Poodle) Run! It's like a marathon exclusively for good poodles." -Adam * "I'm actually a practising catholic and would feel uncomfortable doing crucifix man -John TI "Do a Protestant crucifix" -Cónán * "Eudaimonic- the happiness you get from a female sheep" -Eva S * "This is wholesome hour: the beta version| -Sadhbh D * "How can we make the world a better place?" -John TI "Nuke the whales" -Eva S * "First and last time I'll ever get with a county player" -Eva S * "No homo is subjective" -Adam * "It's dick or nothing. Dick or die" -Caelan RAs, Teachers and TAs * "Do not be scared by my scary face" - Brian * "We have a giver and a receiver" - Brian * "I think a little alien influence is good for all of us" - Brian * "Mathematically, he's the lady's man" - Brian * "The sweet smell of Ballymun" - Kel * "Killing you isn't political, it's just to bring me great hapiness" - Brian * "You have to take advantage of people's altruism" - Brian * "It's not racist, it's generic" - Greg * "Roll a double a couple times and out go the nuclear bombs" - Brian * "Iran said 'Hey Europe, help us out here' and Europe was like 'Nah'" - Brian * "I'm younger than 60, that's your only clue" - Brian * "Mace Windu dominates Obi-Wan and Yoda" - Brian * "Cock and Ball Torture is now banned" - Seán * "Salt in CTYI is not a civil rights issue" - Ryan * “I don’t think mayonnaise is a civil rights issue“- Kel * "Josh buys Delphine's Bath Water apparently" - Greg * 'Snapple is 100× more powerful than Coke' - Student, "You mean Coca Cola, yeah?" - Greg * (talking about sticking a knife in toaster )”I’ve done that” - Kel * “Nothing but lanyard“ - Greg * "Capitalism is literally the worst" -John TI * "Y'all know correlation?" *whips* -John TI * "Don't drink underage because it's scauldy as hell" -John TI * "This is my last life, everything has no meaning and I am ''out" - Sam, TI * "I have a deep-seated hatred for the US" - Sam, TI * "So I had my laptop, a charger that wasn't for my laptop, and I had some tinfoil" - Brian In-Jokes * "Rigorous Group Smash" - The Bros. who love a good wholesome Group Smash * "We're only racist against purple and green people" - Fionn's DND group * "...playing with our COCs..." - Dylan, Fionn and Pádraig * "I rolled a nut 20" - Daithí * ”Let’s have a vote on castrating Emmet“ - Fionn's D&D group * "Get your fucking tits out" - Eva, Anu, Bubbles, Emma, Maya & co. * Dunce caps as a whole -Elisa & Ben * Ḏ̴̡̧̝̰̘͕͉͛̽͌͆̋́O̷͙͈͈̗͊̄͒̓͢͠ Y̧̢̬̙̠͚͈͕̖̑̿͆́́͝O̡̥̼̬̦͊͗̈́́̕U̠̞̝̦̩̅̉̇̅̀̑̈͜͟͡͠͝ E̡̙̲̻̥͔̼̊̔̾̃̀̒͋̔͝V̢͈̬̭͍̎͊͆̊̾̀͒͊̍̏É͍̬͔̘͓̃̐̿̈̐͘͘͜͜N̨̛̥̯̟̥̆̍̅͗̏̚ P̛͔̝̠̤̖͗̆͊̉̽̏̓͘͝Ļ̛̩̦͎̔͑̄̇͢ͅĄ̶͇̠͈̋̃͒̑̀͗͢͡Y̷̹̻̺̝͍̰̑̈͛̕͞ G̙͍̟̱͙̝̪̃̃̐̽̍͋̚͞ͅA̸̜̖̣̠̭̖͋͂͌̀̋̅́́̂͞ͅA̗͆͑͂̉̏ -Elisa & Ben * "Team Mass" - Team Mass Session 2 General Interest * "Give me my spagettle you thieving bastard!" - Gerard Students * "I'm not gonna stop being a fridget for your gay ass" - Edward * "Um, just because you know how to use an ATM" - Meserah * "I drank 2 coffees when I was 6 years old and now I ended up like this" - Kate * "My legs aren't built for like 6 guys" - Klaudia * "You hurt my bingo wings" - Taryn * "I have a penis, I don't know what else to say" - Taryn * "She's nearly darker than me and I'm half Asian" - Aoife * "I like to fuck dead people" - Taryn * "I was expecting everyone to be greasy neck beards, or stuck up rich pricks who wouldn't talk to me. Instead everyone's just gay" - Ryan * "They can segregate the corridors, but they can never stop the gays" - Eric * "Just spread your legs" - Ruth * "I'll take pictures of my own toes but I don't want them on someone else's camera roll" - Taryn * "Cross your legs because Taryn is coming" - Taryn * "I became a bowling ball for a hot sec" - Leo * "I may be a mother but I dress like a hot young ting" - Taryn * "I love furries" - Taryn * "We should just harvest men for semen" - Taryn * "I need condoms" - Taryn "For what, to make balloon animals?" - Ruth * "I feel like a limp biscuit" - Ruth * "When people say size doesn't matter, they're wrong. It does. When you're talking about lakes. And fish rock piles" - Ruth * "Are you just looking at my tits?" - Ruth "I am ya" - Taryn "Enjoy" - Ruth * "Oh my god Minna, he's trying to make spagetell out of beans. Jesus fucking Christ he's TRYING TO MAKE SPAGETELL OUT OF BEANS" - Leo * "What are teenagers if not a bit gay" - Ruth * "I'm convinced that you just want to see nipple" - Ruth * "tan lotion is like putting oil on your body to cook it" - Ruth * "Minna stop trying to lick my hand" - Leo * "Oh no the sausage won't fit!" - Ruth * "I would sext garlic bread to lose calories" - Ruth * "Mischal, you're cute" - Meserah * "I grew out of a lot of things here; my emo phase, my straight phase..." - Aoife * "I'm going out with a bang this year so its you or Ander"- Rossa to RA * " Hi I'm Pro Gerard. Yes I cheated on my wife."- Gerard * "I'll pay you €200 to fuck my brother while dressed as my cat." - Ríona *"Stop taking dick pics with my dick" - James @ Steph *"Get the dick out of your eye" - Remus @ Steph *"I can deepthroat what I want Taryn, for gods sake TARYN, STOP BEING RUDE TARYN" - James *"I just got impregnated" - Taryn, coming out of the boys corridor *"Stop fingering the monster can"- Remus "He's practicing" - Aoife "Is your vagina made of metal?!" - Ollie *"I am not fucking female me" - Leo *"You know what they say? All toasters toast MICROWAVE POPCORN!" - Caolán *"My toes are really racist, not gonna lie" - Lily Courses 'CTYI Advertising and Marketing' *"That was shorter than I thought it would be" -Rebecca *"It doesn't steal your data or interfere with God's plan" -Conor *"Robert just raped my hand" -Rachel *"She opened it too wide" -Gráinne *"We can do things at speed-friending with fingers" -Nikki *"I don't have enough moisture" -Lee *"YAY" -Gráinne *"It sounded like they were swordfighting" -Amanda *"Thicc data, thicc and meaty data" -Steph *"Big data is the biggest of boys" -Lucy *"Anything will fit if you try hard enough" -Steph *"I don't know if that's how you spell his name or not" -Gráinne, on spelling Patrick's name *"Of course it is, I'm not fucking dumb!" -Gráinne, on spelling Patrick *"There are two types; top down and bottom up" -Amanda *"I loved this quote because I liked it" -Amanda *"Wow, combatting racism, it's gone!" -Ryan *"A little bit more less cheesy" -Amanda *"He was like, big." '' -Stephen *"Girl same" -Gráinne *"Boots with the ''jeans ''and the apple bottom fur ''with the fur" -Steph *"But, jorts" -Lee *"Hasuh dude" -Steph *"Girl don't be stealing my brand now, or I'll come for you" -Rebecca *"That will not fit in my mouth" -Gráinne *"Just lick it" -Lee *"IT DOES FIT!" -Lee *"Did you just try snorting black pepper" -Conor *"I gotta get back to the butthole universe" -Steph *"You're like the colour of caramel... or shit!" -Gráinne, on Lucy's skin *"What should I call you, Andy?" -Gráinne "Andy" -Andy *"I am going to close the lights" -Amanda *"In and of itself" -Amanda *"Ice cream flavoured cream" -Gráinne *"*fixes hair*" -Patrick *"I think it's called Christian Mingle" -Lucy *"Umm, is that Mark Ruffalo?" -Andy "Andy no, that's Roger Federer" -Steph *"OMG I wanna be sexy" -Ryan *"You're not actually a c***, you just have c***ish tendencies" -Conor *"I am just relatively stupid" -Rebecca *"That was stupid, Amanda" -Amanda *"It's the length that counts" -Amanda *"How did I miss that, it's so big" -Patrick *"Ah, we love a bit of ye olde casual racism" -Steph *"So far we have; McRibbed condoms for necrophilia, dead people, and the sequel to Ratatouille" -Andonymous *"Doughshake sounds so much better than milknut" -Ben *"Do things history could only dream of, thank you" -Amanda *"He's like a stretched out version of Cody Ko" -Rachel *(in unison) "I don't always drink beer, but when i do, I prefer Dos Equis. Stay thirsty my friends" -Everyone *"Irish patriotism but ham" -Steph *"Take as many time as you need" -Amanda *"I think I just lost my eyeballs" -Lucy *(while crying) "For my standards, it is clever" -Gráinne *"I know nothing about women" -Ethan *"Oh, I forgot to say this ... White supremacists came in support of the ad"-Amanda *"I'm a jock, girls want to fuck me because I don't know anything about Dune"-Cassie *"It's sort of ascended, I don't really understand it" -Rachel, on TikTok *"He got polio and became a wheelie boy" -Conor, on Franklin D Roosevelt *"Marie Curie's a cleaner" -Rebecca *"No, thats Marie Kondo" -Andy *"Girl, I wanna take you to a bean bar" -Conor CTYI Russian Language & Culture * "I'm not really here, I'm astrally projecting into the body of an 82-year-old woman" - Caoimhe * "The white and the rainbow really add to the emo aesthetic" - Bróna * "A sister is *whips* dead inside" - Conor * "How do you say 'cén t-am é' as Russian?" - Bróna * "It's a nice country... except for the Nazis" - Bróna * "Despasiba" - Conor * "I'm not making that a quote because it's stupid and it doesn't make sense" - Bróna * "Newborns aren't sentient and that's a threat" - Caoimhe * "You're all cowards, you don't even smoke crack" - Ian * "The third wave of mad cow disease is coming" - Ella * "Communism had two dads and it turned out okay" - Conor * "We're hanging a furry" - Colin * "We need more female drone pilots" - Michael * "I need to be liquidated" - Caoimhe * "I'm not only five minutes behind I'm ten minutes stupid" - Conor * "Absolute енот" - Colin * "Stalin is the Director of Procreation" - Michael * "That feeling when you accidentally become a fascist dictator" - Conor * "Owo чмо эмо?" - Conor * "Has Stalin ever really not been with us when we are fighting?" - Caoimhe * It's a fucking postal service bitch" - Conor * "What's the chai my slavic сестры" - Conor * "What's your favourite kind of bird?" - David * "IQ below room temperature" - Colin * "I have one brain cell and when I think it dings around my head like a Windows screensaver" - Colin * Compulsory heterosexuality, it that allowed?" - Conor * "I ate Miss Piggy in a BLT" - Ian * "Yeah well I ate her in the bedroom" - Colin * "Finally, a lesbian I can connect with" - Conor * "I stole a pair of sunglasses when I was 4. Haunts me to this day" - Caoimhe * "That's passion baybeyyy" - Conor * "Why would I eat shower" - Ella * "I am man" - Lauren * "No thank you, I said" - Michael (and everybody else at some point) * "Point of information" - Michael * *yells and randomly kicks people* - Ella * "Last night I thought the British Army was coming" - Bróna * "Yuuuuuuuuuuup Fat Leo" - Shay CTYI Clinical Psychology * "SHUT UP LEO" - Everyone * (Discussing healthcare) "WE DON'T HAVE MONEEEYYY, WE'RE BROKE" - Minna in disdained U.K. * "I'm the mom who procreates with all the dads" - Leo * "John Watson was kinky, extremely" - Taryn * "I love them more than I could love myself. And that's a fuck ton" - Kate * "There were people passing by so I didn't want to say I'd be in it for the masses of bee sex" - Raj * "You're pulling my bones apart" - Caoibhe * "Capitalism, that's what makes me hot inside" - Taryn * "You wanna know why I won't have a future?" - Taryn "Climate change?" - Ruth "No, I put my shorts on backwards" - Taryn * "But monkey's don't have mimes" - Taryn "...Not yet" - Leo * "Go wank in the corner, you're gonna do it anyway, might as well get a head start" - Minna in condescending U.K. * “Do your hobbies guys!” - Leo “So, old men?” - Carolyn CTYI Architecture * "My mom always told me I had the same proportions as a Lego man..."- Edward * "If you want to hire teenagers to write or voice characters, I'm really cheap. Like five cents." Gerard CTYI Medicine A * "The US/Iranian war will be lit" - Tim * "You know what they had before Jesus? Slavery" - Tim * "Do you really know what they're doing with your organs?" - Tim * "It's not genocide, it's pesticide" - Tim * "I prescribe you with imminent death" - Tim * "I scream, you scream, we all scream for AIDS" - Casey * "Which is worse: a gas chamber or a gay chamber?" - Lily * "We really should put f*gs in the gay chamber" - Lily * "I hope you don't die from an asthma attack...babe" - Adam * "Say 'yes' to incest!" - Adam * "Mono?" - Everyone * "I do the anatomical positon to assert dominance"- Hugh * "Just as the caterpillar changes into the butterfly, if people don't like you now, just change a huge part of yourself" - Hugh * Smoking increases the risk of passive Tuberculosis progressing into active disease -Bill * "I LOVE dead children" - Bill * "Oh! It's a penis!" - Bill * Don't eat hand sanitiser -Omar * "I would've been a N*zi" - Isabelle * "He looks like a druggie that drugs too much" - Isabelle * "Oh, why does it smell of smoke?" - "Don't worry, I just saw Michael Lucey walk by" - Isabelle * "This is assault" - *pulls out salt packet* " no this is a salt" - Aislinn * "I despise you all...equally" - Casey * "Have you considered being the headspace man?" - Smurf, in relation to Tim O's voice * "My mum's yellow but it's because she's Asian" - Nat * "I love palpitating anything" - Holly RAs, Teachers and TAs * (about alphabet aerobics) "It's one of those things Daniel Radcliffe made famous, like guns" - Jack * "No one wants Northern Ireland back" - Ella * "Did you say "ew" to paying attention to me?" - Ella * "This won’t hurt. Just don’t make a sound" - Meg * "I killed Tupac" - P-Money (Pádraig) * "Teenagers do scare me. But I couldn't care less as long as none of you bleed." - Bryan * "Why do you always look like you're up to something?" - Ailbhe * "Tom Holland says trans rights" - Daniel * "Please stop pegging me I'm scared" - Annie * "Laura, do you do pilates?" - Anthony * "I am woke" - Anthony * "We will accompany you to the toilet" - Anthony * "Oh you're very similar to a Nazi!" - Anthony * "We had a pause in consciousness" - Laura * "In Soviet Russia vodka drinks you" - Anthony * "Spanish birds" - Anthony * "Be gay, do crimes" - Daniel * *grabs pegs* "Confiscated" - Ailbhe * *looks at snapple* "Is that alcohol" - Ailbhe * "You guys are the more problematic half" - Ailbhe * "Me and Kate broke up, she snatched my wig" - Ailbhe * "I missed Darragh so much" - Ailbhe * "My kids call me daddy" - Ailbhe * "Who you calling bitch" - Ailbhe * "That wasn't very professional" - Pádraig * "I'm not prepared to officiate this marriage" - Sharon * "We are just bros!!" - Ailbhe and Darragh * "Everytime I see you I think I'm being attacked" - Darragh * "Malaria is great craic!"- Lisa * "Always strive for nudity" - Lisa * "I'll help you burn them" - Lisa In-Jokes * "Not everything I say has to do with incest" - Taryn * ”Taryn has tingers” - Everyone * "Wouldn't you like to know?"- Several members of Architecno Music * " Woah bro... You have shit on the inside of your testicle" - Too many people * *sings big time rush* - everyone * "The only crimes I've ever committed is being gay and tax fraud" - Ruby * "Jesus was the disappointing middle child" - Ruby * "You're gluten intolerant your body can't be bread" - Caoimhe * "I once had a dream that was entirely in playdough" - Bróna * "Everyone get on the fucking train we're going shopping" - Bróna * "Why would you finger your fingers that's strange" - Caoimhe * "We heard you died so we all died as well so we could have a heaven party" - Bróna * "I'd wake up in a cold sweat thinking about class tomorrow, wtf is gonna happen, who's gonna get shot" - Bróna * "Doctors use Monster as an anaesthetic" - Bróna * (on fanfiction.net) "What do you mean there's no results for communism???????" - Bróna * "I spoke to flowers before I spoke to people" - Nessa * "I'd die for flowers but it's not sexual" - Nessa * "HI DARRAGH" - Bróna and Caoimhe * "I drive" - Joel a.k.a Ryan Gosling